（その4）再就職、リストラ、うつ病

個人の民事再生法申請で、500万円の借入金が100万円に免除と
なりました。　しかも5年払いなので、送金手数料などを入れても月に
2万円の返済に圧縮されたことになります。
弁護士の費用がかかりますが、助けてもらいました。
自分が失敗して、借りた金を踏み倒した訳で、随分後ろめたくて
落ち込みましたが．．．

自己破産と違って、自宅を含めた所有財産も生活もそのままですので
心底ホットしました。
次は再就職先だと考えていた時に、小さな貿易会社に紹介してもら
えることになり、話はトントンと進み幹部として採用されることに。
これで文字通り”再生”できるぞ、と喜びました。

ところがこの会社の社長がとんでもないワンマン社長だったんです。
入社後数ヶ月で、30人の社員の内6人が入れ替わり、半年後には
ベテランの取締役や部長がクビや左遷され、営業の実質的な責任者
にされてしまいました。

食品関連だったのですが、市場競争が激しい上に、食品問題が多々
発生した時期で、風向きは完全にアゲインスト。
社長が独断で決めたような売上げノルマの達成など夢のまた夢です。

叱責というより、暴言を浴びせられる毎日。
ほとんど全て社長が決めておきながら、失敗すれば社員のせい、上手く
いけば自分のお手柄というアカラサマな態度に退職者が続出です。
遂に部下がうつ病になり、その相談にのっているうちに、自分もおかしく
なってきました。

同一事業部のほとんどの社員が退社したいと言い出し、それならとばかり
社長は事業部廃止を決定。　責任を取らされる形で辞職することに。
2年間の悪夢のような出来事でした。

悪夢は更に続きました。
何もやる気になれず、全てのことに価値を見出せず、完全にうつ状態に
なってしまいました。　辛いですよ、うつ病は。
それでも、何とかしなければという冷静な別の自分がいて、二重人格者の
ようになっていました。　

とりあえず失業保険をもらいながら、就職先を探しましたが、本気で見つける
気になれませんし、実際就職先の無い時期でした。
学生時代からほんの遊びで続けていたパチンコにのめりこむようになるのに、
長い時間はかかりませんでした。

（続く）

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